Family picture

Family picture

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Walking by faith and not by sight

Sorting through the wonderful mounds of donated items.

This post is linked to our dear bloggy friend Linny's blog. Click here to see that post.

Tomorrow, Thursday, October 21, is our first effort at raising the funds to bring Sophia home!

Wow! How far we have come since first applying to adopt back in 2006. I still worked full-time as a teacher and could put aside the necessary funds to begin Philip's adoption. I saw other blogs where they were trying to raise money for their own adoptions and smuggly thought, "Oh that would never be us. We can pay as we go!"

Once home with Philip and having all of his expenses paid, God led us to Elijah! Wow!

I was now a full-time stay-at-home mommy to a toddler, only tutoring part-time (very part-time), and Kevin, still working as a teacher, was also just beginning his small business on the side. But we were nowhere near being able to pay as we went on our second adoption. Instead, God opened up ways to finance our beautiful Eli.

With Elijah home almost nine months, we are still paying off his adoption expenses. Still, we never even entertained the idea of fundraising for his expenses.

But now, as we are seeing God's leading once again into another adoption, (this time a daughter), our hearts are open wide to any possibility. We simply do not have the money to attempt a third adoption in three years. It would have to be all God.

To be honest, we have struggled to make sense of adopting a third time at our age . . .

Many, many people are wondering about our sanity . . .

We are older still than when we first brought Philip home, (and we were older then!)

We have three wonderful blessings already (and us never even thinking all of those years ago that we would be able to have one child, let alone three!!)

And we do not have any reserves for this adoption. It would simply have to be ALL GOD and not us!

But God . . .

Each time we question, He leads us back.

Each time we fear, He calms our souls.

And when we think about this mountain to climb verses bringing home another precious child to love, cherish, nurture, and guide to Jesus,

well, our fears and worries seem awfully small.

So this Thursday (tomorrow) begins our first foray into the world of fundraising. We are holding a garage sale. So many sweet people have already donated items for us to sell to bring Sophia home. We thank them from the bottom of our hearts for their donations.

We are praying that if this third adoption is just our hearts' desire to bring another child home and not the Lord's leading, God would shut the doors to us on adoption and make it abundantly clear to us to leave this desire behind. We really, really are praying that, giving it over to Him.

But if God truly means for us to have a daughter and sister, then we pray that He flings open wide the doors for us to do so.

Some have said that they are fearful and worried for us (and, honestly, we understand their fears for we have the same fears).

Again, we are needing prayers that we will follow God's leading on this adoption, whether that means seeing the doors shut and letting go of it or seeing the doors open wide
and running to it.

Many are already praying that very thing. How beautiful to have them on board to whatever God is calling us to do no matter how topsy-turvy it may look because we know that what often looks foolish to men is wise to God. He doesn't make mistakes.

We just can't imagine meeting Jesus face to face one day and having to tell Him why we felt we couldn't adopt again when He was clearly leading us to do so. We just can't imagine turning down the precious gift of a daughter to love and cherish if we are truly meant to have her. We are trying so hard to walk by faith and not by sight at this point.

It is totally up to Him.

All we ask is for your prayers for us to know the difference, for us to be able to see God's clear leading to or away from this adoption, and if God does want to bless us with a precious daughter that He would pour out joyful blessings to bring Sophia home.

For we know that nothing is impossible with (our) God - Luke 1:37.


Pam said...

But God! Praying with you.

CNJ said...

Wow. Janet, this is SO exciting! Praying for you all.

jasnjoj said...

Oh, Janet...what a wonderfully written post. Yes, to stand before Jesus and answer...this image plays through my mind alot as we make decisions...seeeking His will. I'm praying for your precious family!

stephanie said...

Janet, thank you so much for your sweet comment and prayers. I'm praying for you too!! I hope everything goes well and lucrative.
God Bless!

Renae said...

Janet, thank you so much for your encouraging comment on my blog! I just can't imagine this journey without the gift of fellow adoptive parents who have "been there, done that"! And YAY for pursuing another child! I'll be following and praying as your next journey unfolds:).

Suzanne said...

Praying the Lord sends boatloads of people to your sale!


Jocelyn-Chris said...

Jehovah Jireh, Our Provider, He will supply your every need according to His riches in glory! Our Dad is RICH, no problem. :)